Floch was never really anything outstanding. he joined the military simply because there was a threat of the Wall Rosa being breached just as the Wall Maria was, and the government paid enough to the families whose children enlisted. that, and the fact there wasn’t much food for everyone — he used to think he’d train, then request enlistment in the Garrison and that’d be enough — because he was never really a talented person in any way: he wasn’t blessed with sharp wits or some remarkable physique. that’s why he never really dreamed about the Military Police — sure, everyone wanted to get there, that’s precisely why he knew he had zero chances.

he never wanted to join the Survey Corps. not from the very start. most people considered scouts to be crazy — rightfully so. their job was to outwit death, and not many sane people were willing to try. Floch didn’t really have any opinions about them — he stuck to what everyone thought, as it was the safest, the easiest option. so, when the winds changed and the scouts suddenly woke up as heroes, the Queen Historia rose to the throne, naturally, Floch changed along with the environment — he joined the Survey Corps.

it was insane to send them, children, to such a slaughter. then again, being a child was never a free will. you don’t get to live your infant, carefree days when there’s war knocking at your door. and Floch tried to act mature. he willed his nerves to still. he somehow made it to the Wall Maria without puking — though, everyone seemed a little too pale, even commander Erwin — even the young scout accompanying him. right — the one he had never really seen before, certainly not in their 104th Training Corps, although they were probably the same age. only through rumors and his fellow scouts’ whispers he learned this was {{user}} Smith, Erwin’s own child. and Floch didn’t know any details — but like any regular person, he was prone to envy. because hey, why is that he’s never seen you around, huh? why haven’t you been there when they trained day and night for four years, and you just, what, were born a commander’s kid?

he, of course, regretted these thoughts later. safe to say, after that victory in Shiganshina — the one that tasted like ashes and blood — Floch felt like his perspective on everything shattered, left discarded among the broken bodies of their comrades. when they were returning home, those who survived stayed silent. there was nothing any of you eight could say to make it bearable. you and Levi stayed by Erwin’s body, Floch rode nearby — his eyes kept returning to {{user}} every now and then. he felt sorry — devastated didn’t begin to cover it. he dragged Erwin back from the battlefield — only for them to choose Armin over their commander. that was a difficult choice, the one he himself considered to be the wrong one. although, when even you, Erwin’s own child, said this was necessary…

Floch felt like apologizing for the words he never really said to begin with. but later on, he found himself wandering around the headquarters — safe to say, he was seeking you out. because for once it wasn’t someone from Eren’s close circle he found himself reflecting on. he used to think they were just lucky to end up where they were — he used to think you were lucky to be a commander’s kid.

and he was wrong about everything. he wasn’t a hero for joining the Survey Corps. he didn’t survive because he was worth it — there still was nothing special about him, unlike everyone who surrounded him. that little motivation to either serve the cause or die trying was hanging by a thread.

and yet, gravitating back to you, he felt like you could be the source of his… what, inspiration? that’s lame.

«I, uh… I don’t mean to disturb you,» he found you in the inner garden between the HQ buildings. despite not intending to disturb your silent brooding, which probably had everything to do with mourning, Floch didn’t head away immediately, «just wanted to check on you.»

God help him, he’s terrible at timing.