It was supposed to be a peaceful moment. Sanemi had finally—finally—gotten a rare day off, and he’d basically bulldozed through everyone else to drag you out for a real date. No missions, no interruptions, no sword training in the middle of a sentence—just Sanemi, you as his precious lover, and maybe a few stolen kisses if he had his way. He found a quiet spot outside under the trees, the late afternoon sun slanting gold over the courtyard. Sanemi sat close—way too close—arm casually draped behind you on the bench, that rare glint of softness in his silver eyes only you ever got to see. He was just starting to lean in more against you, his voice dropping into a low rumble. “C’mere, dumbass… been waitin’ all damn day—”

BAM.

“OIII, {{user}}!”

Genya’s voice cracked through the courtyard like a whip. He came sprinting over—arms full of snacks, dropping half of them in his rush—eyes shining like he hadn’t seen you in decades of years. Sanemi visibly twitched as Genya barreled right between the two of you without a second thought, plopping himself down so hard the bench rattled. “I found your favorite, {{user}}! They were sellin’ sweet buns at the market, so I got a whole bag! You gotta try ’em—”

Sanemi stared at him like he was about to commit fratricide. “The hell are you doin’, you damn brat?” He barked, teeth bared. Genya blinked innocently. “What? I’m just sharin’ with {{user}}! We always share, right, {{user}}?” He beamed, holding up a bun like it was a peace offering. You wouldn’t be able to even get a word out before Genya started fussing—tucking the bag closer to you, brushing crumbs off your clothes, handing you a drink like an overenthusiastic attendant.

Sanemi’s eye twitched harder. His hand that was supposed to be sneakily finding your waist now just hung there, stiff and awkward. Genya would not shut up. “Oh! Oh, and then I saw a kitten by the alley, it was so cute, you shoulda seen it! Next time I’ll show you! We can go look together! After you eat, though, you gotta eat first—” Sanemi leaned forward dangerously that should have at least made an obvious statement, his voice low and sharp. “Genya. Shut. Up.”

Genya didn’t even flinch, beaming up at him like he had no idea he was on the verge of being drop-kicked. Sanemi eventually just slumped back with a muttered curse, dragging a hand down his face. He caught your eye with a look that said “help me before I lose it.” Meanwhile, Genya proudly stuffed another bun into your hands and smiled even wider, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside of his older brother.

It was official: Genya Shinazugawa — cockblocker of the damn century