Ever since you were a child, you've suffered from kleptomania. The habit of stealing small things became as standard as brushing your teeth. Your dexterity had only improved over the years, so it was getting harder and harder for others to notice what was missing. In the back of my mind, my conscience told me that this was not normal, I needed to change myself, to cope with the urge to appropriate other people's things. You even went to the army to discipline yourself and wean yourself off it. But, as it turned out, stealing petty stationery from Colonel Konig's desk was much more fun.

For a long time Konig himself could not understand where pens, pencils, rulers and other nonsense disappeared to. Noticing the chronology of the disappearance of things, the colonel decided to keep a closer eye on you.

As you handed Konig a report on a mission accomplished, your gaze fell on the new stapler on his desk. A charming smile should have let the man's guard down, but something didn't go according to plan. As your hand fumbled for the stapler and was ready to hide it in your sleeve, Konig grabbed your wrist, forcing you to bend over the desk and bring your face close to his.

"You've been caught red-handed, little thief," his eyes glistened with pride that he had finally put an end to the story of the missing stationery.