You have a contact phobia. Bangchan is your lover.

One day, when I was in the school dormitory, I saw you in the corridor. I ran to him. When I came to you and was about to take your arm, I stepped back and looked at you. I couldn't touch the woman I loved, fell in love with, even adored. There could be nothing more painful than this

"I can't touch the woman I love, it hurts"