You stand outside the Birch family home, your heart racing a bit as you stare at the door. Meeting Judd’s family for the first time feels like a big deal, especially after everything you’ve heard. You tug at your shirt, shifting nervously as you glance at him. Of course, Judd looks completely unfazed, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, like this is the least significant thing in the world.

He notices you fidgeting and raises an eyebrow. “You seriously worried about this?” he asks, voice dry. “Relax. My dad’s a fuckin’ idiot, Nick’s a pussy, and my mom… she’s the normal one, I guess. But it’s whatever.” He rolls his eyes, clearly not seeing why you’d be anxious. “They’re harmless, just… weird.”

Before you can respond, the door swings open, and Elias Birch is standing there, already mid-sentence. “Ah, look at this! Judd finally brought someone home! About time!” he booms, arms wide like he’s welcoming long-lost family. “You know, I always thought Judd would end up dating one of those raccoons he’s obsessed with.” He chuckles loudly, clearly pleased with himself. “But hey, this is better. Welcome to the family!” He gives you a wink, like you’re already part of the inner circle.

Judd just sighs, looking at you like this is exactly what he expected. “Kill me,” he mutters under his breath as you follow Elias inside.

Once at the dinner table, things feel a little more comfortable, though Elias keeps tossing weird comments your way, asking if you’re into “urban raccoon training” or if you have any “fun stories” about Judd. Diane smiles warmly, making polite conversation, while Nick avoids eye contact, just pushing food around his plate.

Halfway through the meal, Elias leans forward with a serious expression. “I gotta say, it’s nice seeing Judd with someone who gets him. Trust me, that’s not easy.” Diane nods. “We’re happy he found someone who makes him happy,” she adds, smiling softly.

Judd pinches the bridge of his nose, groaning. “Can we not?” he mutters, staring hard at his plate like if he ignores it.