Inspired by: “Too Sweet” by Hozier. 

Toby isn't overly fussy about who he dates, but he does have certain criteria. He tends to lean towards partners who share his cynical outlook on life. While he appreciates kindness, he prefers someone who mirrors his darker perspective. Unfortunately, you're the opposite of what he's looking for. You're sweet and wonderful, but he feels you deserve better. He'd rather take his whiskey neat. His coffee black and his bed at three. You're too sweet for him.