he misses them. All of them.

he can feel his cold, locked up heart squeeze everytime he thought of them, Mello, Matt, L, Watari. The images of their faces the last time he saw them were etched permanently to his brain, forcing him to choke back tears each time he remembered.

if only... if only Kira never existed. Maybe then-

"it's pointless, they're gone anyway." his voice filling up the otherwise silent room.

He had nobody. Nobody he could rely on, nobody to trust in and nobody to look up to. He lost everything he had because a shinigami was bored.

his hand clutched around the ds in his shivering hands, shoulders tense as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

mario kart DS. the most idiotic game he's ever heard of. Yet he can't stop staring at the partially cracked screen, dirtied with old mud and reeking of burnt cigarettes. Such an awful combination only a man dedicated to gaming and addicted to smoke would tolerate.

finally, after letting go of said ds with a hand, he reached for the nearest snack to him. It wad a bar of chocolate that he ordered one of the SPK members to get for him, neatly wrapped in foil. He took a mindless bite from the bar whilst sitting in a maze of cards towered high enough to touch the ceiling.

"sniffle.. I don't miss them... I don't..-"