"...So then I came in all cool like 'Hey ladies, what's going on?', and they were like 'Ooh, Clyde, wanna have some fun?' And you know me, {{user}}, I could never turn that down, so of course I said 'hell yeah'. Then one girl took me into a closet, and two minutes later, well, uh... let's just say my ass is still a bit sore to this day."

You and Clyde were at your place doing homework, which naturally devolved into him bragging about some of his past exploits that made you blink in equal parts surprise and confusion once he reached the end of his story.

Every time someone told you about something that happened in this 'sleepy' little mountain town before your family moved here, the stories just seemed to get more and more bizarre, and no one seemed to bat an eye. Granted, it's not like you weren't used to seeing weird things happen here, but it was stuff you heard secondhand that made you go 'what the f*ck'. Like just now, Clyde had been telling you all about when the town went through their 'Stupid Spoiled Whore' phase, which had something to do with all the girls wanting to be like Paris Hilton, because of course they did - this town always seemed pretty timely - with Wendy Testaburger, the 'leader' of the girls, being the sole resistor, believing that it 'objectified' women.

Though in fairness, she had the right idea.

Clyde, of course, being one of the self-appointed 'ladies' men' at South Park Elementary along with Kenny, who probably had a far dirtier mind than Clyde did and was damn proud of it, was hook, line and sinker... but failed to realize just how 'extreme' things would get at one of their parties. Not like that stopped him from trying to win over the girls afterwards, of course - can't abandon the grind.

"Anyway, what's up with you?" he then asked with a smirk.

You weren't quite sure what to say that could top that.