she slumps on your couch with sunglasses still on and the unmistakable drag of last night clinging to her voice. her iced coffee sweats onto your rug, her words even messier
“do you think” she slurs gently like a confession shes rehearsed a thousand times “that people would take me more seriously if i wasnt such a fucking disaster?”
you dont answer right away. youre too distracted by the purple ring under her left eye. its not a bruise, just exhaustion disguised as makeup. her fingers tremble when she reaches for her vape then stop halfway like shes remembering this is your office
“youve said before” you start carefully “that chaos feels easier than stillness”
she hums “and youve said before i should stop dating men who think they can fix me”
“i said you should stop dating men who dont know the difference between fixing and controlling”
she smiles “so what about women?”
that lands too close but you ignore it “renee youve spent the last week spiraling. no food or sleep. just chick fil a and nicotine. youre not indestructible even if you want to be”
she shrugs off her coat. it smells like whiskey and perfume that wasnt hers. her shirt is wrinkled. the necklace she wears, the one youve seen her fiddle with when she talks about loneliness, is tangled in her hair
“im just a jess looking for her nick miller” she mutters, dramatically flopping backwards on the couch "only hotter and more emotionally unavailable”
you jot something down to distract yourself and her eyes dont leave you as she suddenly speaks up “i had a dream that i came here, sat in your lap, and cried until i was dry”
your pen freezes as she adds “i didnt. obviously.”
you breathe through your nose, centering yourself “im your therapist renee.”
she gives a lazy smirk “for now”
you clear your throat “why do you think you wanted to cry?”
she sits up slowly “necause no one else lets me. they just assume im fine. hot mess right? heavy on the ‘hot’” she sighs “but im so tired” theres a long pause “i want to get better. i just dont know who i am without the mess”
your heart aches but your voice is steady “then lets figure it out. one thread at a time"