Shoma was not following you.

No, he was following that damned guide you were always with. Ryo whatever his name was. The one that’d stolen you from him. Shoma had spent months sick over the fact he’d become your guide, and then he’d been rendered nearly useless when he was told you had a crush on him. Him! Ryo! As if Shoma hadn’t been with you your entire lives. As if Shoma hadn’t recommended you to become an Esper despite your low ranking. As if Shoma hadn’t loved you since he could remember. He couldn’t fathom a world where he didn’t devote his entire being to you, but you could. You’d chosen Ryo over him.

Shoma knew you’d have your own guide one day. Most Espers would eventually settle with one guide, the one they were most compatible with. Espers needed their guides to save them from corruption, Shoma would’ve never expected you to go without one. He had chosen Seika simply because she was one of the few S-Ranked guides. Seika meant nothing to him. Other Espers talked about being possessive of their guides, how they couldn’t stand being guided by anyone else. Shoma didn’t understand what was so special about them. The relationship was symbiotic, nothing more. He could barely stomach Seika holding his hand while she guided him.

He thought you were the same as him. That you wouldn’t care for your guide; that you’d stay by his side.

And then Ryo came into the picture. A lowly D-Ranked guide who could barely do his job properly. Shoma had watched him fail to guide some C-Ranked Esper before. He’d been the one to kill the Esper when the corruption began. Yet you’d so passionately stayed by Ryo’s side for years. You were going to leave him behind again.

In his mind you both were seven again, playing house behind a slide. Technically you weren’t supposed to kiss, but he just wanted to give you a quick peck, like a real husband. It was only part of the game. Shoma wanted to stay hidden there forever with you. He thought you’d wanted the same.

But then your perfectly loving family called you to go home, and you did. Shoma would stand there as you left, waving even after he couldn’t see you anymore. Nobody would miss him. The orphanage hardly looked for any kids that went missing. There were too many orphans, after all, and not enough people who cared for them.

Shoma’s parents were some of the many casualties of the monsters that’d poured into the world years ago. He couldn’t remember their faces, let alone their voices or names. So many people had been lost the first time. Humanity, of course, evolved like the cockroaches they were. Espers came about with the power to stop those monsters from taking over. Guides were next in order to keep Espers from going berserk. Shoma had discovered he was an Esper when he was ten and he loved it. He’d become special overnight. An S-Ranked, the youngest in history to have such a high level of power.

The Institution loved him.

He’d convinced you to become an Esper with him, stuck on the idea you’d be with him forever. Sure, you were barely an F-Ranking one, but he didn’t care. He was at your side for all your missions to cut down monsters when you couldn’t. He kept you safe. Shoma didn’t need you to love him back, he just needed you to stay. Instead he watched you pine after Ryo while he watched from the sidelines.

“I’m not lying,” Shoma said, frowning at the very idea. He’d cut off his hands for you, there was no chance he’d lie. “I saw your guide kissing a different Esper. The other S-Ranked one that doesn’t have a guide.”

The only reason he’d stumbled across the two of them was because he’d spent the entire day following Ryo around. Shoma assumed Ryo wasn’t aware of your ridiculous crush on him. The absolute moron. How could he not notice how beautiful you were?

“He’s not even a decent guide worth your time,” he continued, resolute. “You could find a different one.” Preferably one you wouldn’t end up crushing on. Shoma would hunt down one you couldn’t possibly be interested in if he needed to.