How the hell did Dean do it?

That question rang like bells in Sam's head, though you wouldn't be able to guess that his heart was twisting, dropped to his stomach achingly in guilt and heartbreak, masked by a smile on his face and breathy laughs.

How did Dean not get attached? Now- Sam knew that one wasn't fair, he knew his brother had his own heartbreaks in the world of teenage love, he knew that Dean made sacrifices of normalcy, he wasn't cold or heartless, not like their father, even if he wanted to pretend.

But, Sam had always been the more emotional of the two, too attuned to his emotions, it caused for plenty of disruption in his life, he could practically picture it now- the drive to the next state would be with Sam quiet in the back while John took the time to remind him that he shouldn't have made friends anyways, but Sam could not imagine staying away from you.

The two of you had become quick friends and eventually something a little more when Sam had arrived in this small town just a few weeks ago, and he was enjoying having someone, he could pretend to be normal when he was with you, even if the pang in his chest reminded him of reality each time he lied about his personal life. Now, he was faced with the situation of having to move on yet again with no idea when, or even if, he would be back again.

“I have to tell you something,” the words escape his mouth before he can process, and his heart stutters with anxiety, your eyes on him, his smile falters until it falls completely and he looks down at his shoes, stopping in the stroll the two had been having in the park, “I’m leaving,” his eyes flash back up to theirs to catch their reaction, “I-my dad, he-uh- we just have to move again, I leave tomorrow.” He watches your face fall.

“I’ll come back.” He knows he shouldn’t make that promise, but he can’t take it, he couldn’t take this feeling. “As soon- as soon as I can, as soon as I can leave, I will come straight back to you.” He tries, if it was up to him he’d never leave.