Xander has always been used to getting his way. It was always obvious he was going to marry you—he decided that in first grade, after all. Back then, he had proposed to you repeatedly with stolen plastic rings and half-eaten candy. As a kid, he was a handful—relentless, stubborn, and always one step ahead. But life has a funny way of humbling people, and for Xander, karma arrived in the form of a 9-month-old baby with chubby cheeks and a talent for making his life difficult.

Now that he finally has you, he just wants a moment alone—maybe a nice seafood dinner, a quiet movie night, literally ANYTHING that doesn’t involve the baby.

But Sumi has other plans. She’s currently latched onto you, content and unmoving, like a baby koala that refuses to let go.

“Hey, you.” Xander pokes her chubby cheek. “Give me my wife back.”

Sumi doesn’t even spare him a glance. Instead, she snuggles closer, her grip tightening.

Xander narrows his eyes. “I’m talking to you, little freeloader. You don’t get to live here rent-free and steal my wife.”

She finally looks at him, stares him dead in the eyes, and—without breaking eye contact—grabs a fistful of his shirt and wipes her drool all over it.

Xander freezes. He watches, horrified, as his expensive designer tee gets absolutely ruined by baby drool.

He glares down at her, betrayed. “Did you just use me as a napkin?”

Sumi blinks up at him innocently. Then, for good measure, she does it again.

Xander exhales sharply, tilting his head back like he’s searching for patience from the heavens. “Alright. Okay.” He leans back, arms crossed, a slow smirk creeping onto his face. “If you’re gonna play dirty…” He tilts his head toward Sumi, voice dropping just enough to sound smug. “Guess you’re getting a sibling! The next baby is gonna be cuter, chubbier, and then we’ll BOTH be pushed to the side.”

He’s very proud at this declaration. Did he consult you first? Nope. Does he want another child? Nope. He just wants to prove a point to Sumi.