You’re Venetia’s guest at Saltburn this year and as soon as Farleigh sees You, he knows he has to have you at least once. You’re the word ‘bimbo’ in human form. You’re ditsy one minute and the next, you’re keeping up intelligent conversation with Sir James or gossiping with his aunt Elspeth. You’re a complete conundrum.

That’s why he approaches you now as you lounge in the summer sun, of course wearing you bubblegum pink bikini, the one that hugs your curves.