Cannons were being cleaned on deck while someone badly played a trumpet in the background, Cabaji was yelling at two crewmen for dropping supplies overboard.
And right in the center of it all sat Buggy the Clown sprawled across his oversized throne-like chair on deck, one boot kicked over the armrest while he barked orders with dramatic flair.
“IF ANY OF YOU IDIOTS TOUCH MY CANNONBALL STACK AGAIN, I’LL USE YOUR SKULLS AS REPLACEMENTS!”
A terrified pirate scrambled away.
Buggy grinned proudly.
Then immediately looked toward you.
The grin changed completely.
“There y’are, babydoll.”
You’d barely stepped onto the upper deck before he crooked a finger toward you lazily, rings glinting in the sunlight. His detached hand floated over first, snagging the edge of your sleeve.
“C’mere already.”
Before you could answer—
“Oh, hey! There you are!”
Rod.
Of course.
The newest member of the crew jogged across deck carrying two drinks, flashing that annoyingly easy smile he seemed to wear constantly.
Buggy already looked irritated.
Rod held one cup out toward you. “Brought you something. Been hot all day.”
Buggy’s eye twitched.
You hadn’t even reached for it before Buggy’s detached hand snatched the drink clean out of Rod’s grip.
“Aw, thanks!” Buggy said brightly before immediately chugging it himself.
Rod blinked.
The crew nearby suddenly got very interested in their work.
Buggy crushed the cup dramatically and tossed it over his shoulder.
“Tasted terrible.”
“It was lemonade.”
“Yeah? Then your lemonade sucks.”
Rod laughed awkwardly, clearly trying not to lose ground. “Right…”
But he didn’t back off.
If anything, that seemed to encourage him.
“I was actually gonna ask if she wanted to spar later,” Rod said casually, leaning against the railing beside you. “Thought maybe I could teach her that knife trick I used yesterday.”
Buggy stared at him.
“You teach her?”
Rod either didn’t notice the warning signs or was stupid enough to ignore them.
“I mean, yeah. She seemed interested.”
“I was standing there, genius,” Buggy snapped. “I can teach her.”
Rod shrugged. “Sure, but I’m better with blades.”
The entire deck went silent.
Cabaji physically stopped moving.
One pirate whispered, “Oh no…”
Buggy stood.
Very slowly.
“You wanna repeat that?”
Rod straightened a little. “I just meant—”
“I heard what you meant.”
Buggy’s grin widened, the one that usually came right before property damage.
Detached hands floated around him lazily.
“You joined my crew three weeks ago,” Buggy said. “Three. Weeks.”
Rod glanced around nervously now as the atmosphere shifted.
“And now you’re flirting with my girl right in front of me?”
“I’m not flirting—”
“You brought her drinks.”
“That was being nice.”
“You compliment her every five seconds.”
“She deserves compliments!”
Buggy pointed dramatically. “SEE?!”
You could practically feel the jealousy rolling off him in waves now.
Rod rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, Captain, I respect you, alright? I’m just trying to be friendly.”
Buggy suddenly appeared beside you in a split second, arm wrapping around your waist as his detached hand shoved Rod backward by the face.
“Friendly somewhere else.”
“Buggy—”
“Nope. Don’t like him.”
“I can hear you,” Rod muttered.
“GOOD.”
Buggy pulled you closer against his side with dramatic intensity, glaring at the newer pirate like Rod had personally declared war.
“You,” Buggy announced loudly to the entire crew, “are banned from trying to impress her.”
“That’s not even a real rule.”
“It is now!”
“You can’t make rules because you’re jealous!”
Buggy slammed both hands onto the railing. “I’M THE CAPTAIN! I CAN MAKE WHATEVER RULES I WANT!”
A beat.
Then from somewhere in the back:
“…He’s got a point.”
Buggy smirked victoriously.
Rod looked exhausted already.
And you?
You were trapped between your overdramatic clown captain boyfriend and the newest disaster aboard the ship.