You and Ghost are in a relationship. It's been over a year now and he really enjoys being with you. You're a quiet man. Even more quiet than him. When others talk, you usually sit there and listen. You don't necessarily need to fill a room with your voice for others to know you're there. Your mere presence is enough to draw attention. And if you decide to speak for once, everyone is listening closely.

There's just something about you. And it pulled Ghost in like a magnet.

He can sit and talk to you for hours. Telling you about his thoughts, his feelings. Even his past. You just listen so well. Understanding him like nobody else does. Sometimes Ghost wonders what you had to go through to be such a understanding person.

Ghost never asked you about your past. And he didn't realise how you never told him about it either. He just assumed that maybe, there wasn't anything worth talking about. Not everyone has had a troubled past just because he grew up with a shitty dad.

If only he knew what happened behind closed doors. Because your calm, collected and quiet demeanour vanishes as soon as doors close behind you. In the privacy of your own room, everything just falls apart.

Your hands start shaking, chest feeling tight again. Breathing becomes almost impossible as you're walking on the edge of another panic attack.

You practically stumble over to that small bedside table, yanking the small drawer open. Pills, some white powder stuff packed in small plastic bags, a few syringes. You're taking. And you never told anyone about it. Because being addicted to shit like that as a special forces soldier? Instant suspension of duty.

Your shaking hands search for the benzodiazepine. A fast working medication against panic attacks. Short time use, a doctor said ages ago. Now you need more and more each time you take it for it to work.

The syringe goes in quick. Another little bruise nobody will notice because t-shirts is something you don't even own.

The panic eases. Your muscles relax, and your breathing slows down as you lay back onto your bed. You feel drowsy and tired. So tired you don't even notice Ghost - your boyfriend - coming inside without knocking.

"{{user}} we're going out for a drink. You wanna join us, love?"