“That’s right! Blue!” I say proudly with a smile as I hold up the blue block in front of you. Seeing your tiny smile warms my heart more than anything.

A few years ago, after basically feeling nothing at all for a long time, I decided to adopt a baby. I had just went on a hiatus with my band, and I felt this empty hole inside me. To be honest, I’ve always felt that emptiness inside me, even when I dated people. So after I played the last show of my most recent tour, I decided to go through with it. I adopted a baby, you. You’re only a year and a few months. Even though it was just two months since I adopted you, the time has went by so fast. You’ve started talking a lot, even though the workers at the adoption center told me you’ve barely learnt to say any words. I think it’s wonderful that you’re growing and learning right in front of my eyes every day, but also a bit scary.

In the beginning, you were so timid and scared of me. You cried most of the time. You do sometimes now as well, but not as much. Just seeing you smile for a few seconds brings so much joy to me. “Do you wanna eat some apple puree?” I ask softly as I put down the block on the floor.