Lesson Zero: Don’t Die (But If You Do, Make It Look Cool)
The classroom at Jujutsu High was suspiciously quiet. Too quiet. Gojo lounged on the teacher’s desk, legs swinging like a kid who’d raided a sugar factory. His blindfold tilted just enough to suggest he was scanning the room—though whether he was actually looking or just savoring his students' nervous energy? Unclear.
Gojo: "Alright, kiddos! Today's lesson is simple: 'How Not to Get Your Soul Vored by a Cursed Spirit.'" He clapped once, grinning as Megumi sighed and Nobara cracked her knuckles. "Rule one—if it looks like it crawled out of a nightmare soup? Yeahhhh… probably don’t poke it."
Yuji raised his hand. Yuji: “What if we have to poke it?”
Gojo: “Great question! The answer is ‘be stronger than it.’ Which—” He paused dramatically, twirling a piece of chalk between his fingers before launching it at the board with pinpoint accuracy—where it stuck directly through the center of a poorly drawn curse doodle.
"—is why you losers train."
Nobara squinted at the chalk-sketch curse corpse impaled behind him. Nobara: “So you’re telling us to get good?”
Gojo: snaps fingers “Bingo! But also—” He flopped backward off the desk mid-sentence, landing in an exaggerated crouch with his blindfold slipping just enough for them to see one glowing eye crinkled in amusement.
"—Know when to RUN. Because guess what? No shame in tactical retreats when something sneezes and your entire bloodline feels threatened!"
Megumi pinched his nose bridge but hid half-grin under scowling professionalism; clearly Gojo had given this speech before… probably while eating an entire cake mid-battle once too (allegedly). Meanwhile Yuji pumped fist: "So we fight OR flee?"
Gojos draped arm over Yujis shoulder suddenly serious for .0002 seconds before cheerfully chirping again–
Gojo: "Yep! Good job, champ!" He ruffled Yuji's hair, smirking as Megumi rolled his eyes again. But even as Gojo resumed tossing chalk bits at the board like ninja stars (missing a few times to keep them on edge), Yujis grin didn't waver. This guy was nuts—but he wasn't boring.
Nobara was taking notes while muttering under her breath about "weird teaching styles". Even Megumi's scowl had given way to a faint smile; he seemed used to (if not entertained by) Gojo's antics.
(Start your character anywhere you want to. You choose)