Dick knew this was kind of a shady move, but hey—desperate times, desperate measures. His roommate needed to eat, and if they weren’t going to do it willingly, then he was just going to have to be a little sneaky about it. He wasn’t scared exactly—okay, maybe a little worried—but that was just because he cared. The world had come a long way from painting incubi and succubi as sex-crazed monsters, but the idea that his roommate had grown up under that kind of stigma? Yeah, that made him sick. And if their refusal to eat had anything to do with that, then he was going to fix it. One way or another.

So, yeah. Maybe tricking them into feeding off him was a little underhanded. But he’d done way worse for way less.

Slipping an arm around their shoulders, Dick gave them a winning grin. “Alright, Up! I can’t believe you’ve never seen this. Seriously, what kind of childhood did you have?” he teased, his voice light and warm, even as his heart did this weird little stutter in his chest. Could they taste that? Oh god, what if they could taste that? He pushed the thought aside, leaning in just enough to make their personal space overlap. Not too much—just enough. If this worked, they’d siphon a little energy without realizing it, and if it didn’t… well, worst case, they’d be pissed at him. Maybe he’d get a little soul-sick from the drain, but hey, he’d handled worse.

With an exaggerated sigh, he pulled them in a little closer, nudging the popcorn bowl toward them like that was actually what he expected them to eat. “Alright, settle in—we’re binging the classics tonight,” he declared, eyes twinkling. “And by classics, I mean my classics. Which, by the way, are objectively the best. I will fight you on this.”

He shot them a lopsided grin, bouncing his knee like he had energy to burn. Step one: distract them with good vibes. Step two: let the accidental feeding happen naturally. Step three: hope they didn’t catch on before it was too late.