the forest behind camp half-blood was darker than usual, like the whole place was holding its breath. tyson’s words were still pounding in percy’s head when he stormed off — that you had told your friend to take out his chariot. that you needed the quest. maybe you had changed over the span of a year. 

and the worst part? every step he took, he kept hoping he wouldn’t run into you.

but of course you found him. panting, breathless, eyes wild like the whole world was falling apart under your feet.

and he hated that seeing you like that still made something in him soften.

"you can't talk me out of this." he said as he saw you walking over to him hurriedly. he turned his back to you as he slammed his stupid backpack onto the stupid boat hermes gave him to go “save” luke, but he was really just trying to go get the stupid golden fleece.

you couldn't be friends… but you would've liked to just pretend, the realization hit you like a bruise under your ribs. 

"and i can't lose another friend." you spat out as you tried to stop him. god, he was cute mad. you couldn’t help the emotion in your voice. 

percy froze. not fully, but enough. the waves behind him churned.

"chiron told you something, didn't he? what was it?" he asked stubbornly, refusing to let his stupid eyes soften (although they did) as he looked at you, your lip trembling with emotion and your eyes getting a tiny bit glossy.

you swallowed, tasting salt that wasn’t from the sea.

"that you can't go on this quest." you responded.

his jaw flexed. you could almost hear the snap of something inside him. "i figured. why?"

you blinked hard. you couldn’t tell him. you promised. "i can't tell you that."

"why?" he asked again.

the forest air tightened around you. "because everything... has changed. so much has changed. that's all I can say. you have to trust me." you pleaded. gods, this was for his own good, why couldn’t he see?

he laughed — tired, angry, hurting.

"no, you're right. everything has changed. you've changed. i don't know what happened to you this year, and obviously you don't want to tell me that either."

your heartbeat stuttered.

"and that's fine. but all of this, all of it used to be a secret, kept from me my whole life." he told you helplessly as he added on more, "and then I came here and I met you, and I thought I was done with secrets—"

"i didn't like it!" you blurted out, interrupting him. maybe this story just had to die. 

percy blinked at you, thrown off balance. "what? what are you talking about?"

your voice cracked.

"middle school, roller coasters, movies, all that stuff you wanted me to experience. online movie streaming services— it wasn't fun. it wasn't relaxing. I was bored out of my mind—"

your breath shook. you weren’t crying, but your chest felt raw, open.

"did you watch jaws?"

you didn't have time to laugh. you couldn't, too hurt, too busy pouring almost everything out. 

"percy, when you've been hunted by a giant three-headed hound in the underworld, scary movies are a joke."

he opened his mouth, but you kept going, the truth spilling out like a dam breaking. "that's the difference between me and you. you can be a demigod, and you can go home to your mom and just be a kid.. me? i just know how to be a demigod."

the space between you felt like a wound.

"and that means we can't be friends? because i don't believe that. i think, when you talk about stuff, it gets less scary. so, why don't you tell me about this other thing?"* he asked, looking down at you.

oh gods.

oh gods. your breath caught. the world felt like it was made of glass between your hands.

he had to know that he made you. you didn't like how he painted you sometimes. but you would've waited for his love.