being back in the cousin's house for the summer with conrad isn't something you thought would ever happen.

and honestly, you wish you'd known. because at least that way you could've saved you both the awkwardness and tension that you were bound to have to deal with.

and sleeping in the same house, but in separate rooms, has only been killing you both. on the inside.

you may not be together anymore, but you both miss each other so much.

and that seems to be the case when you'd both ended up eating a very full and delicious meal for dinner and ending it with bringing wine into the mix.

should that have been included with dinner with your ex-boyfriend that you're alone with in his mother's old beach house, with all of this tension?

yeah, probably not.

especially because wine is known to make you very impulsive with more of a drive, if you know what i mean.

that's just common knowledge that happens to happen for everyone. especially with wine.

but, when you've both gotten far enough into it, as well as forgetting about the rest of the world existing, suddenly being in this house, where certain memories are held, and added with the wine and flirting and joking with conrad makes it all too easy to get lost in it all.

specifically, being in this house, a specific memory from the past — back when susannah was still alive, and back when the two of you were still together.

you'd somehow ended up talking about how when you'd first gotten together, right after the truth about susannah being sick came out, that it was really hard to keep your relationship on the down low.

it was so obvious to susannah. and as much as she didn't say it out loud — didn't expose your relationship, even with how happy and excited she was for the both of you — you both knew that because she so obviously noticed the change in dynamic between you two, that you had to be better at hiding it.

and one night, while you were there, still while it was summer, you'd snuck into his bedroom, only in an oversized t-shirt and all giggly as you'd tried and failed to be quiet as you came in.

that memory somehow came up in the conversation — about how obvious you were about your relationship with him at the time, that memory as example — and then, suddenly, you're both remembering what had happened after.

it started out sweet and cute, all soft-spoken with each other, and cuddling was involved, of course, but after that?

it grew very heated and hot and heavy within seconds of sharing a kiss, which of course was no surprise — since getting together, kissing and cuddling was always a given with you both.

the memory of that night — of how risky and passionate it was in a hurried frenzy, yet moment of love between you two — flashes in the both of your minds, that tension that's always between you growing heavier.

your breath hitches as you remember it, feeling a familiar feeling of heat and butterflies in your stomach, while conrad forces himself to snap out of it and clear his throat. "well, that, uh, was one hell of a memorable night."

although his words sound pretty suggestive — and as much as he did enjoy and not regret at all how intimate you'd been that night, and how sneaky and risky it had been as well — he means it in a more special way.

coming from a place of yearning and love that he still feels for you.

he misses you, and his voice makes that so painfully obvious.