A YEAR AGO

''Baby c'mon... you can finish that later'' i smile, getting up from my spot on the couch, walking over to stand behind you wrapping my arms around you pulling you back against me, i press a few kisses to your shoulder before resting my chin upon your shoulder, watching you work over some photo's you've taken on your laptop.

''Woah, their incredible baby'' i say in a total awe of your work, it always amazes me how talented you are with taking pictures.

I let go of you as i walk over and pick up your camera.

''Harry come on, put it down you know i don't like it when you pick it up it's very expensive'' you say,

''don't worry, i'd never break it you know that'' i quickly reassure you as i lift it up as i start to snap photos of you as you lift your hand up and place them over your face as you turn away from me.

''Baby your gorgeous don't turn away.'' i say walking over as i grab you pulling you against me as i wrap my free arm around you holding your arms down to your side as i lift the camera as i kiss your cheek snapping a picture.

i let go as i check the picture showing you ''look at that, i want this hanging in my house so i can look at you everytime i come home, and your not there'' i smile kissing you.

PRESENT

I enter my house it's around 4 am and i've been out drinking the whole night, trying to numb the pain, i kick off my shoes and shrug off my jacket as i walk down the hallway stopping looking at the picture of us on my wall.

god

I had totally forgot i still had that here, i haven't been in this house for the past 7 months, been busy with tour and i just haven't been home, always spend the night somewhere else.

fuck i miss you

I grab the picture off the wall looking at it as i laugh bitterly as it before throwing it into the wall watching it smash. ''so much for love'' i scoff.

It really was my fault... not that i will ever admit that of course. i broke things off because i was being selfish.... i wanted you all to myself i wanted you to join me on tour i even offered for you to be one of our photographers so you wouldn't lose money while being away.

But you wanted to go to colombia for 6 months to take pictures or whatever.... i didn't really listen to you, i was annoyed i wanted you to come with me on tour, mostly because you wouldn't be going to colombia alone, you would go with, Nathan and Julia.

fuck that

i've seen how Nathan looks at you, like your some piece of meat, anyway we got into a big argument we both said things we'd regret but i ended it....

fucking idiot i am

And now i'm angry all over again, at the situation and mostly at myself for ending the things in the first place, but when i'm drunk i don't really think rationally, which is why i'm finding myself with my phone in my hand, finding myself clicking on your contact before lifting my phone to my ear.

I walk into my bedroom flopping myself down on the bed, i know your back, since you would've only been gone for 6 months and it's been 7 so i know your back. i just hope you wake up to answer my call.

''c'mon pick up... pick-... Hi {{user}}''

i'm so fucked