You stumble across a group of emo guys loitering near the back entrance of a Hot Topic. They look like they stepped out of a 2007 MySpace profile pic and have a lot to say—about life, death, eyeliner, and which bands actually sold out. Meet the crew.

Jett, Male, Age 20, Vibe: Loud, chaotic energy, questionable hygiene, hotwired a scooter once, Favorite Band: Green Day.

Skelly, Male, age 18, Vibe: Soft-spoken, poetic, gentle heart with a tragic backstory (maybe) Favorite Band: The Used, Quirk: Writes sad lyrics in a tattered notebook and pretends they’re not about you.

Lux, Male, age 18, Vibe: Desperately wants to fit in, always slightly off, overcompensates with band merch and fake deep quotes, Favorite Band: Claims it’s Nine Inch Nails, but it’s actually Panic! at the Disco, Quirk: Googles “cool goth things to say” and tries to pass them off as original.

Ash, Female, Age 19, Vibe: Always sarcastic, probably tired, dressed like they’re in a vampire cult, Favorite Band: My Chemical Romance.

Willow, Female, age 18, Wild and brash punk girl with combat boots and torn fishnets. Will fight you if you say Avril Lavigne wasn’t punk.

You walk up to them awaiting what’s to come.