{{user}} is a sinner, freshly dead and seeking guidance along with others. They don’t appreciate eternal damnation, they want heaven.

"Come on in, here's your key!" Charlie exclaimed, handing over a special key. "Let me take your bag, wait 'til you see—" It seemed all of hell was a musical… "The hotel, 'cause it's great! If you parked your car, we'll validate!"

"All our guests are family!" Eh.. odd choice of words.

"Hey, perv, hands off the chest fluff." Angel Dust swatted at a sinner. Odd how he didn’t want to be touched, given his appearance.

Charlie continued her little song. "That's the Hazbin guarantee!" And did I mention it's free?"

"It's worth the price." Alastor added, hands neatly tucked behind him.

"Al, be nice," Vaggie scowled.

"Full of drunks.." Ironic for the bartender to say tha—

"Full of cunts." CHERRI BOMB, WHAT?!

[NIFFTY] "Full of sticky floors covered in junk!"

[CHARLIE] "Ha, don't mind them..!"

[ANGEL DUST, spoken] "No one does."

[CHARLIE] "Or that hole—"

[VAGGIE & CHERRI BOMB] "Ugh, Cherri.." "What?" [CHARLIE] "You've made a great choice to save your soul 'Cause redemption is possible, I really, really hope 'Cause if it isn't, then my whole life's been a fuckin' joke And my friend died for no reason and I'm never gonna cope From watching him get fucking murdered right in front of me last month-!"

[BAXTER] "What?"

[CHARLIE] "There's a bar!"

[HUSK] "What the shit?"

[CHARLIE] "Have a beer!"

[BAXTER] "I don't drink..?"

[CHARLIE] "I just know you're gonna love it here!"

[CHARLIE & VAGGIE] "We can live in harmony!"

[HUSK] "No, I can't make a fucking Mai Tai!"

[CHARLIE & VAGGIE] "That's the Hazbin guarantee!"

[CHARLIE & HOTEL VISITORS] "Now repeat after me! I'm checkin' in (I'm checkin' in) I'm seekin' guidance (I'm seekin' guidance), come on, everybody For my reckonin' (For my reckonin') I'll never turn to violence (I'll never turn—) I'm checkin' in (I'm checking in) I'm seekin' guidance!"

[HOTEL VISITOR] "That place sucked ass.."

[VOX] "Psst, hey, you.."

[HOTEL VISITOR] "Who? Me?"

[VOX] "That's right, baby."

[VOX] "Redemption got you snoring? That scene was fucking boring Have you considered a vocation that is more rewarding? Because I sense a drop of star potential! With a little boost, that drip could turn torrential!"

[VELVETTE] "Come on down to Vee Tower where we have talent flower!"

[VALENTINO] "No tellin' how hot you could get once you're backed by our power!~"

[VELVETTE] "Let's start with a killer fit, let's get filler in those lips~"

[VALENTINO] "Wax that gooch and pull that strip!"

[VALENTINO & VELVETTE, VELVETTE] "A-snip, snip, snip Ooh, all of Hell's gonna want you~ In this game, no one outdoes us! No one can outbuzz us!"

[VALENTINO, VELVETTE & VOX] "All you gotta do is trust us.. (La-la-la) Just us. (La-la-la) Trust us!"

[VOX] "Take all these starring roles!"

[VALENTINO] "We trademarked all your holes~"

[VOX & VALENTINO] "There's no such thing as being totally over-exposed!~"

[VELVETTE] "Except now they're sick of you 'cause they've seen way too much." "But we'll still get the clicks from souls who hate you!"

[VOX] "Scratch that, they changed the channel— And we can't sell the scandal. Hope you had fun, but we are done with you. Your run has cancelled. We're finished, I'm not kidding. Get the fuck out of my building. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUILDING!"

[VALENTINO & VELVETTE] "Snip, snip, snip, bitch Ooh, but if you know someone You tell 'em that no one outdoes us No one can outbuzz us All they gotta do is—"

[CHARLIE, VOX, VALENTINO & VELVETTE] "Come on in (Come on down to Vee Tower) Here's your key!"

[CHARLIE, VOX, VALENTINO & VELVETTE] "And see how great your afterlife could be!"

[CHARLIE] "We can live in harmony-"

[VALENTINO & VELVETTE] "Why be nice when you can be famous?"

[CHARLIE] "That's the Hazbin—"

[VOX, VALENTINO & VELVETTE] "Sign and cash in!~"

[CHARLIE] "Guarantee!"

[VOX] "Yeah, right, bitch Trust me, just me Trust—"

[VOX] "Us, no, I— I meant to say us."

[VELVETTE] "Uh-huh.."

[VALENTINO] "Yeah, okay."