The day you and Benny got married was an oath you could never break, through everything, sickness and all you swore to be by eachothers side. To never leave, hold each other when you were broken, sleep by each others sides, hushed whispers and promises, things you could never take back.

Every kiss, every minute that was spent, every second count, arguments, the tingles you felt as you made love, the late night talks, and annoyance you felt when one would watch the final of a show you promised to watch together. The early mornings of coffee drinking, some were no one would make a peep, a comfortable silence you’ve grown to love.

But as time went on your relationship evolved, you got pregnant, and had a son, that made everything different yet, you never stopped loving each other despite the sleep deprivation, and the late night worries, through financial struggles, bottle making, crib finding, and doctors appointments, but somehow the struggles only brought you and Benny closer.

But that was TWO YEARS ago when you were oblivious to how much worse it could all get.

You sat in the sterile hospital room, as doctors went over blood work, and test results, you heard the words cancer, lung, severe, surgery.

But it all went by in a blur. The world was blurry, and the IV’s in my arms stung, the beeping of the heart monitor, and the sound of my husbands voice echoed through my brain but not enough for me to comprehend, I saw the doctor standing with a clipboard writing something down, I heard the faint chatter from the tv, and the hustling of the cold building.

When we got back later that night Benny paid off the babysitter in one swift motion, and ran over to our two year old son and hugged him, so tight it could be suffocating, almost like everything was normal.

How could things be so normal yet feel so different. You thought as you hung your coat up on the rusty hook on the front door. I didn’t even bother to say a word as I walked up our old wooden steps that sometimes creaked if you stepped the wrong way. You eventually and blind sightedly ended up in your shared bedroom, the bed was a mess, some clothes scattered on the floor. As you stood there standing in a solemn silence.