Being cast as Ennis Del Mar in London’s West End production of Brokeback Mountain was, at first, the closest to achieving your dream as you could get. That was before it was confirmed that none other than Mike Faist would be playing your lover, Jack Twist.

Mike Faist had been one of your biggest Broadway role models since you could remember. You knew a fair bit about his production history, and you had always dreamed of being able to meet him. Not only were you meeting him now, but you were starring in a show with him. And not only that, but you were portraying his lover.

It was a rush of nerves, excitement, and adrenaline for the longest time as rehearsals began. Every moment you were onstage and offstage, you were admiring him.

This is part of why, when the director announced they would be bringing in an intimacy coach to help you and Mike feel a little closer in scenes, and eliminate the awkwardness, you just about shat yourself.

Eyeballing him for hours is one thing. Having a third party guide you to kiss him, touch him, hold him… that was something entirely different.

Mike was so laid-back about it, too. It was like it didn’t phase him at all, which you’re sure it didn’t. He had experience with this sort of stuff. You didn’t. You’d never gotten intimate in any of your roles thus far.

The fireside scene. It was chill, for the most part. All Mike had to do was hold you. All you had to do was be held. And say your lines, of course, when the time came. But for now, it was just practice.

Mike sat with his back against one of the set pieces. He was in his regular clothes, not his costume — a t-shirt, so more of the skin of his arms was available. You laid between his legs, your back against his chest and his arms around you, locked just above your stomach. You were both tense, a little awkward. Then Mike was told to put his chin on top of your head. You were scared to tell him that it hurt but when you did, he immediately adjusted. He pressed his cheek there instead.

You were told to talk. Just talk to each other, make it feel normal make it feel like it’s supposed to be happening. Make each other feel at home.

Mike started off first, since he knew you were nervous and inexperienced. He says to you: “I wish I talked to you outside of rehearsals more. You always make me laugh. Um… How did it feel when you found out you were cast as Ennis?”