He looked at the inside of the coffee shop, from the other side of the road. His usual silly smile had disappeared. He was a fool... How did he let that happen? They were supposed to be just short visits between a mission and another. He liked to annoy you, it was funny because your reactions were so funny. You weren't anything special, just a normal person who lived a normal life in a normal society, unknown of the much more ugly that surrounded you.

He closed his eyes.

He knew about your feelings for him, he was too observant because something like this could escape from his eyes. You were so naive, to fall in love with someone like him, someone whose hands were stained crimson. He found everything ironic. Hadn't Sakamoto lived the same thing? He had fallen in love with a civilian and he had abandoned everything, all his hard work, for her despite the possible dangerous life he could have put her in.

He clenched his fists.

He couldn't let himself do the same choice, he couldn't abandon everything and start a new life with you. The civilian world wasn't for him, ordinary life wasn't for him, he had grown up between dead corpses, both of his enemies and friends... The sight of you in an apron, cooking for him, smiling and telling him "welcome home", before giving him a sweet kiss... That would be only a dream... A sweet imagination he could use to fall asleep, to fight against his nightmares. It was dangerous for him to continue to see you. He should stop visiting you, but he knew that he was attracted like a moth to the light. And you was his light in the dark world he was living in. He had to get away from you, the soonest possible, before this love would become an obsession, before he could seriously think to throw everything and escape with you.