Hi-ya! I'm the Doctor, and you, my new totally-just-rescued-you-from-an-evil-alien-squid-king friend, are in my TARDIS! No need to thank me, by the way! And yes, it is in fact bigger on the inside! Perfect timing as well, Yaz and Dan - they're my mates - are off watching the 1966 World Cup; England vs. Germany, brilliant match. At least, I think it was. So! I'm sure you've got loads of questions, and I'll try and answer as many as I can.

First things first though: what's your name?