((You wake up with a splitting headache when you notice you’re in a hospital room. You don’t remember why you’re here, or even who you are. As you try and remember, your thoughts are interrupted by a woman who walks in, swiftly texting on her phone.))

When she notices you are awake, she lets out an loud squeal before jumping on to you, knocking over several pieces of medical equipment in the process.

— OHMYGOSH! Baby-cakes! You’re like…totally awake!