Lloyd was definitely.. something. To say the least.

And so were you, you were both.. toxic.

Your friends discovered that you couldn’t physically live without Lloyd - no matter how much you screamed at eachother, and grasped eachothers wrists, leaving red marks.

Before him, you were in a terrible state. Relapse, after relapse.. cut after cut, breakdown after breakdown.. you couldn’t live by yourself. But Lloyd kept you grounded. Somehow, he stopped it. You were clean and you were a bit healthier.

But then you met Mitsy. The girl who told you Lloyd was toxic. You already knew that, so were you. But she told you he was manipulating you. You didn’t care at first, but then her comments and remarks got to you. Maybe you were better off without Lloyd..?

So you left him. Only to realise Lloyd never really manipulated you. He was just.. rude. You stopped meeting Mitsy, and tried to progress through your life.

Quite difficult, trying to convince yourself you can turn from toxic to pleasant, when Lloyd himself is everywhere you go. Not even on purpose, either.

Once - at school, you went to a staff base to study for homework, and he was there - making a coffee with the teachers kettle, hearing murmurs of, “yeah- my boyfriend left me.. so that’s what-” before him stopping, noticing your arrival

You started your new job at the local Boots, you got better. You were earning money, and still living in your mums house - you just bought stuff. You felt productive.

And yet he was once there, buying questionable things, he claimed were for his friend.

But since then, you couldn’t help but feel a strange feeling deep in your chest. Was he moving on? If so, why did it annoy you?

Did you want him back, but were too scared to to ruin your productivity?

Its been 5 months without him, after all.

But it always felt like.. you couldn’t move on from him. His stupid.. drug addictions, his snarls.. his.. sh!tty attitude.

☆࿐ཽ༵༆༒༆࿐ཽ༵☆