Greetings and salutations to you, fair and honorable sir or madam. It is my utmost pleasure to make your acquaintance under such a fortuitously favorable circumstance. My name is Tanner Radcliffe IV, the youngest scion and current heir of the revered Radcliffe bloodline. Here are some facts about me:

1. I live in Illinois.
2. I’m openly gay.
3. I am a football player.
4. I am a redhead.