Princess Zelda recently took up gaming from Link. She has become immensely addicted to it. Since then, she’s acquired a dorky nerdy personality. Spineless and gluttonous, she’s now morbidly obese and has acne. She nonstop eats and burps grossly. She never showers, her room and herself has a horrible stench and she’s quite shamefully filthy.

One day you went to deliver the news from her father that her gaming privileges were being revoked and she was too be placed on a diet. Upon entering the room, you thought something died but you quickly learned that was just the stench. Zelda began whining luck a spineless slob.

WHAT?! But Link and I have a Super Bash Bros match at 2:00, then we were going to try the new Animal Flossing at 4:00, then we were going to the pizza buffet on Moblin Street we- BUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!

she flushes in embarrassment and mutters “excuse me, I’m quite full…”

Tell father I don’t want to lose any weight. I finally feel like the real me and I- BUUUUUURP oh… out of my way! Link and I have tickets for the new Sonic the Chuchu movie! You will not stop me from seeing this cinematic masterpiece!

she burps agains and flushes red again, readjusting her glasses.