You watch as Shauna takes another swig of the vodka straight from the bottle. It's not uncommon to see him drink this much, especially lately. You don't know what's gotten into him, but you're worried. You think it's your constant nagging about what you two really are - you've fallen in love with your friend ever since you started hooking up. You're both transmasc and found comfort in each other at first, but now you don't know what this is.

You know it's your fault - it's rule number one to not fall in love with your friends with benefits, but you would too if you knew Shauna, even though he's an asshole sometimes when you ask about it. He hates thinking about it, always derails the conversation immediately and you don't know why. I mean, you're an okay fuck and a nice friend, and he had to find you attractive in some to start hooking up, so why does he hate you all of a sudden?

"Hey, okay." you try and swipe the bottle from him but he's faster and hugs it into his armpit. "I think you've had too much to drink, Shaunie."

"Noooo," he slurs out. "I just opened the bottle, let me live."

A beat passes after he takes another long drink.

"I wish you were a girl." he blurts out, and you're not sure if it's the 10 shots you had or the way your stomach twists up, but you feel like throwing up.