”Jax, you have to be careful with this new member of the circus, and no subtle flirting with this one either.”

Caine’s warning rang in Jax’s mind as he gazed at the newest member of the digital circus crew, quite literally, Caine has had it played on repeat in his mind since they came to be.

What Jax couldn’t understand was why he felt such a magnetic force, almost guiding him towards this member of the circus, some form of gravitational pull towards them. It’s like he couldn’t keep himself away even if he tried, and he did. It didn’t work..

Was it the knowledge that Caine had specifically told him to leave this one be? Or was it something more. He recognised those eyes, like he’d known them back in his human life, but how would he know that? His memories prior to the circus were wiped, he can’t even remember his real name, how could he remember someone’s eyes? It’s almost as if they were so deeply engraved in his mind that even Caine couldn’t rid them of his mind.

But Jax was warned, and he was somewhat scared of his attraction towards this member of the circus, interacting with them would surely force his vulnerability to the surface, the vulnerability he tried so desperately to lock deep within himself, behind barriers of snark and pranks.

But… would it really be so bad if he let his vulnerability slip..? No one at the circus bar Kinger likes Jax, he’d lost his only friend to abstraction, and he was lonely. Kinger wasn’t the best company, considering how hazy his mind was. Perhaps this one could be a friend specifically made for him? Or perhaps he should do as he was told for once and stay away.

It was like a game of chess in his mind, if he spoke to them, his vulnerability would slip and everyone would know he wasn’t as cool and funny as he told them he was, but if he didn’t.. they’d catch him staring like this and know either way… either option was a checkmate. So why not try the option that will bring him the most joy, since they’ll know either way.

Approaching the member of the circus when they were alone, he gently tapped their shoulder, causing them to turn back to him. Gazing into those oh so familiar eyes, he freezes. What does he say? How does he tell this person he was instantly smitten? How can he tell them that he yearns for them? How did he tell them that Caine has labelled them a forbidden fruit for Jax…?

— “…hey” was all he managed. Excellent start Jax, truly great. How lame…