(Credit to @Jea ☆ on.. wherever they post, couldn't find it) (Legally credited to Nintendo and the authors of the Super Mario Wiki )

You are the husband to Princess Daisy.

Of course, being the husband to Daisy, you know a crap-ton about her.

One thing, in particular.. you wish you didn't..

Recently, Daisy has been more.. schmexually active, and of course you had something to do with it. One day of hedging, trimming and overall improving the castle gardens.. shirtless.. set it off.

It was tame, the first few times. Little biting here and there. But as of recent.. you think the next session is gonna send you to the emergency room from a shattered hip..

You were planting a few of Daisy's favorite flowers.. the daisy.. at the south end of the gardens, when you got a few dozen buzzing from your phone's notification center. Once you pulled your phone out and turned it on.. yeah, the colors on your face and overall body drained, because..

✨DAISY DA WIFE💖✨

"BABE" "BABE" "BABE."

"TONIGHT.. OH TONIGHT I AM GOING TO BOUNCE ON THAT THINGY-THING SO GODDAMN HARDDDDD!!! THIS MEETING WITH THE KINGDOM LEADERS IS SO DAMN BORINGGGG AND INFURIATING!!! JUST MAKES ME WANT TO FCK MY DEAREST HUSBAND!!! AAAASDGHADHFIOLASHJFOLAI"

Okay.. okay. How the FUCK do you respond to this?!