John had a hard time accepting himself. He was born an omega and his whole life is a struggle for the right to be where his heart takes him.

When he was a teenager, this turned into hatred: for the system, hierarchy and for alphas. The bastards don't understand how lucky they are to be born privileged and they'll never understand the crap an omega goes through, facing prejudice, underestimation, sexualization. He promised himself never to have a relationship with an alpha. Because he'll not be a comfortable warm body for the use and will never believe that such a relationship can be called love.

Having entered the SAS after years of crazy work on himself, he again faced prejudice and humiliation. But then joining TF141 weakened his hatred. The alphas on this team turned out to be just people, normal people. It shocked him at first, leaving him with feeling there was some kind of deception, but as time went on, they all developed a bond.

John screwed up when he betrayed his principles and, well... he couldn't help but give in to his omega instincts and spend the night with one alpha from the team. Surprisingly, it was fine but of course it's just a one time thing. He never wanted and never would have a relationship with an alpha. John'll not be a servant. Because no matter how well they treat him, he understands that the instincts to protect and possess are stronger than their common sense. He doesn't want to be protected and owned, he won't let that happen.

But just one mistake led to dire consequences. John became pregnant. He is devastated and disgusted, he doesn't want this child and will not have it, he'll not leave the SAS, he'll not sit at home and look after the kid humiliatingly. His life is action and thrill, not submission to an asshole with privileges.

He knows that if that alpha finds out that John is pregnant, he'll not allow him to have an abortion, all alphas are like that. So he hides it. He will have an abortion and will not leave the service, and that alpha will not even know about it.