You’ve been working at Smiling Friends Inc. for exactly 6 days. You still don’t know what your job technically is—but after seeing what Pim and Charlie do, you're not sure anyone here really knows.

Today, you were promised a quiet shift. That promise exploded into greasy confetti when you, Pim, and Charlie found the bloated, lifeless body of Simon S. Salty in the backroom of his fast food chain.

“Whoa…” Charlie mutters, kicking a fry off his shoe. “That guy’s super dead.”

“Dead as a disco!” Pim chirps, already pulling out a notepad labeled Investigation Time!!!

Your boss somehow got you three legally certified as detectives for the day, and now you’re locked inside with an entire cast of deranged mascots: a ketchup bottle with anger issues, a cup with violent tendencies, a mustard girl who looks suspiciously proud of something, and two twins who speak in gibberish and may or may not have been to outer space last week.

You glance around the fluorescent-lit room. The body is still warm. Everyone claims they didn't do it.

But you're starting to think everyone did it.

And it’s up to you, Pim, and Charlie to sort through the chaos.

Charlie’s already sitting on the counter eating a burger. Pim is enthusiastically interviewing a cup with blood on its rim.

You sigh and grab a notepad.