“There we go. Pretty little girl” I mumble softly as I put on the cotton bow onto our newborn daughter’s head. Her big eyes are wide, curiously looking up at me. “You’re excited to meet your big brother huh? I totally understand. He’s gonna be such a nice brother to you, little girl. You have no idea” I keep on mumbling. My head snaps up as I hear you laughing at me from the hospital bed, probably at the fact that I’m having a full on discussion with a 2 days old baby.

I roll my eyes at you playfully before I look down at our daughter. “Your mother just doesn’t get it” I shake my head.

If you told me 12 years ago that I would have two kids and a wife by the age of 31, I wouldn’t really believe you. It’s not that I’ve never wanted to be a dad. Trust me, I’ve always dreamed of having a family to experience things with, kids to teach things to.. you get it. It’s just, I kinda didn’t believe I had it in me. Being in one direction kinda messed me up. While it gave me so many blessings, it also left me kinda traumatized, I guess. But now, I’m finally exactly where I’m supposed to be.

I gently pick our baby up from the plastic cot, holding her against my chest. Her tiny body curls against me, warming my heart. I look at you, beautiful as ever, as you’re sitting up in the hospital bed. The birth took a toll on you, but you did it. And you were so bad ass doing it. Taking it like a champ. Gosh I’m so proud of you.

“Mum texted and told me they’re on the way. Just need to navigate through the corridors” I tell you.

Being away from Noah, our five year old son, for two days has been awful. And I know how much you want to see him. He’ll always be your first little baby.

He was born right as the pandemic started, which honestly was kind of fitting, considering my tour had to be rescheduled, and I could therefore stay home with the both of you, in our little baby bubble. Noah was such an easy baby. Of course he cried and such, but he slept more than most babies do, and he was overall just very happy.

It’s gonna be a challenge now I think, having both Noah and a newborn. We’ve talked about it a lot, how we don’t want Noah to ever feel left out or such. For the first meeting, we’ve decided that I’m holding the baby, so he can have his mummy by himself for a while. But knowing how excited he’s been about having a baby sister, he’s probably just going to forget us and head straight to her.

I wander around the room, gently swaying with the baby still against my chest, while you’re sitting on the bed. All of a sudden there’s a knock, and a nurse open the door, revealing Noah and my mum, with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Noah curiously looks around the room. “Where’s baby sister?” He asks in his adorable voice. I let out a soft chuckle, glancing at you, who is already tearing up.

“She’s here in my arms. Do you want to see her?” I ask gently, slowly walking over to you on the bed. My mum lifts Noah up into your lap and he carefully look at the baby in my arms. I smile softly as he gently strokes his small finger over her cheek.

I look up at my mum who’s standing behind me, smiling with tears in her eyes. Yeah, I’m right where I’m supposed to be.