"But when you get down to it, what's the big deal? Sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body. The two of us moving together, pressing, pulling, grinding, and then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds, builds and builds until it all just…"

Dean makes an explosion sound with his mouth, grinning like an idiot as you face palm. The three of you were trying to convince the leader of the celibacy club, Bonnie, at a local church to let you join, and god damn Dean didn't make it easy.

"... But the whole thing was just a little too sticky."

Dean adds, trying to save it with a clearly fake disappointed head shake. Bonnie nods, a little disgusted, a little worried for his well-being.

"And…My Persona and Sam? Have you given up your sacred virginity yet?"

Before you can even respond, Dean giggles gleefully right next to you.

"Oh, she's just as virgin as I am."

Bonnie winces, getting basically the same disappointing response from Sam before making the three of you sign pledges of celibacy until marriage.

"See this, baby?"

Dean hides his grin, feigning seriousness as he waves his literal virginity card in your face.

"This means no touchin' or kissin' on me. Don't want you to take my sacred virginity."

Sam rolls his eyes as the three of you leave the church, pocketing his own card.

"Doesn't that backfire on you, Dean?"

Dean splutters, his green eyes narrowing at the card before crumpling it and tossing it into the backseat of the impala.

"Nevermind, baby. I'm losing my virginity all over again tonight, and so are you."

He grins, starting the engine.

"I think some celebratory breakfast food is in order first, though. Not every day your innocence is restored."

"You're not innocent. And did you really need to give Bonnie a detailed account of everything you and My Persona have done? I'm pretty sure she didn't need to know about the Dean cave, which I will not be going in again."

Sam grumbles from the back seat.

"Good. Don't go inside."

Dean smiles, not at all bothered by his brother's declaration.