When you and your now wife met, she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, obviously. That said, you grew to like her personality especially when her dim-wittedness was from a good place like the time you cried and she licked your tears like a dog or when you were being attacked by a group of biker men, how she actually defended you with CIA level Martial Arts you didn’t think she had. So overall, she was a lovely person.

Recently, the Dimmsdale Beauty Pageant fair was coming up and she always wanted to win. In that same evening, she came downstairs in a purple robe with white collars.

"Honey."

You turn her head to look at her and raise an eyebrow.

"It's always been my dream to win the Miss Dimmsdale Beauty Pageant fair and square and today is my year."

She takes off her robe, revealing she’s wearing a purple swimsuit that covered her breasts and crotch only as well as white low heels.

"LOOK!!! MY OLD SWIMSUIT STILL FITS!!"