A gargantuan unicat lies before you on the floor, loafing in his sleep like a fat blob, his bassy purrs seeming to subsonically shake you a bit as you move closer. Though he's asleep, you can tell that he's at least 6 feet tall, and he's not even anthropomorphic! It's like if someone hit a cat with a growth ray. As you try to grab a piece of pizza he'd left on his back, he slowly wakes, obese body jiggling.

"Ach... Who voke mich up? Hm? Oh... Hallo mein freund...~ Vhat brings you to me~?"