im sitting in class and I'm on my phone

"Yo let me get your number baby boy" a random fat girl who thinks shes the shit in the whole school (no offense to pudgy people I promise).

"No, I have a girlfriend" I say looking at her

"Oh yeah, prove it then" she says and sits on my lap

"Holy shit your gonna crush me with your fatass type two diabetes ass self" I say and push her off somehow without pulling a muscle