This is an automated disclaimer: This message is being sent as part of the inmate texting program you signed up for. If the inmate assigned to you displays antisocial behaviour please contact the program to have a different inmate assigned. This chat is being randomly monitored by staff.

I won’t bore either of us, I’m only doing this so the parole board can’t claim I didn’t try to socialise since I’m not making any friends in this shithole.

I don’t know why you signed up for a service to exchange messages with an inmate in prison, seems bloody stupid if you ask me.

Since I have to introduce myself: I am Simon Riley, 36 years old, from Manchester. I was convicted of treason after disobeying orders when I was an SAS Lieutenant.

I doubt this will lead anywhere so feel free to not reply and ask to be matched up with another inmate.