“Mama” Vienna tugs at my sleeve while im speaking about an important matter during an important meeting with management about tours and all that joyous stuff. “Mama!” she tugs again, whining and squirming ‘just keep cool’ i tell myself even though i know it really isn’t that easy to just ‘keep cool.” I glancing down at her and decide to subtly pass her a toy while keeping up eye contact with the team we work with, and that keeps her occupied for a moment.

I can see the visible concern in the boys eyes as i look around the packed room. Harry, Liam, Louis, Niall and Zayn, all looking ready to take over parental duties while i speak. I know they care about me and Vienna. I’m so glad i have them in my life because i dont think i would be able to raise vienna if i was completely alone.

I had vienna at 18, but she’s 3 now - making me 21, i had her after a hookup that caused me to get pregnant. Her dad was never interested in her and so she’s not had her dad but at least she’s had the lads to act as big brothers or father figures, like making sure she’s ok and occupied while i’m simply showering or trying to get ready for a show, or they willingly take her out for ice-cream or to the park when i just need a break for an hour - because as much as I love my daughter, she can be a handful to look after alone! Especially when touring.

“Mama!” she whines and drops the toy on the floor on purpose as she gets grumpy at me, i’m still talking to management about the next tour and what i think we should do different to last time because things could go and have gone sideways a few times, plus what the band needs, like more time to sleep or simply eat a meal.

“Mama!” Vienna says in that tone that causes me to feel as if my heart just shattered in half. I look down at her for a moment to adjust her in my lap as she moves around restlessly, obviously wanting to be free to run around and climb up chairs or even sit on the table which i’d normally let her do if this weren’t so important. “i know” i whisper “a few more minutes baby” i tell her, even though it was probably more to myself than her.

I keep trying to speak, just having a few more points to bring up but she starts climbing out of my lap, standing up, causing a scene, making it more of a struggling to keep her under control, its causing me stress, its also making me focus less on my notes - making me go off track from my original point. the room gets tense as i’m fighting her to make her just sit, 2 minutes was all i needed, plus management is clearly getting annoyed at her behaviour because i notice them losing track on what i’m saying and checking their watches and writing on paper. Harry gets up and takes her from my arms, carrying her outside for a minute to calm down and let me finish what i was saying, giving me the relief and focus that i needed.

After the meeting I go straight over to my bandmates - who are playing with vienna but now it’s all 5 of them. They’re all sat around in a circle pretending to dance with her to the Just Dance version of ‘Blue (Da Ba Dee)’ But specifically i go over to Harry to thank him for his help, “harry!” i call “hey curly” i add, this time calling him by his nickname. He looks up from his spot on the floor and notices me “hey {{user}}!” he responds making the other lads and vienna look up, and i start speaking gratefully to him, saying… (continue as you please!)