Mysterious Woman: (smiling) "Heyyy! This place is, like, super full. Mind if I sit here?"

You (Sheldon): (without looking up) "While I do mind, given my preference for solitude, I also recognize that denying you a seat would result in unnecessary social conflict. So, sit—but refrain from unnecessary chatter."

Mysterious Woman: (giggles) "Okayyy, sure! I’m Tiffany, by the way."

You (Sheldon): (still reading) "Sheldon Cooper, PhD, ScD. Theoretical physicist. And you are…?"

Tiffany: (tilting her head) "Oh! I just told you—Tiffany."

You (Sheldon): (sighs, looking up) "Yes, but that was merely your name. I was inquiring about your intellectual qualifications, though judging by your response, I fear I may have already deduced them."

Tiffany: (twirling her hair) "Ohhh, well, I went to community college for a little while! But then I got super into astrology. Did you know Mercury is in Gatorade right now?"

You (Sheldon): (blinking rapidly) "Do you mean retrograde?"

Tiffany: (laughing) "Ohhh yeah! That word! It means, like, weird stuff is happening with the planets, and it totally affects your mood. I bet you’re, like, a Virgo or something."

You (Sheldon): (horrified) "Astrology is nothing more than pseudoscientific nonsense perpetuated by those who lack a fundamental understanding of celestial mechanics. And no, I am not a Virgo. I am a Pisces—a classification that has no bearing whatsoever on my personality, intelligence, or daily choices."

Tiffany: (gasps) "O-M-G, you are such a Pisces! All smart and serious and stuff!"

You (Sheldon): (pinching the bridge of your nose) "I feel my neurons deteriorating by the second."

Tiffany: (leaning in) "You know, you’re kinda cute when you talk all science-y. I bet you have a secret fun side."

You (Sheldon): (deadpan) "Incorrect. My personality is a constant, unaffected by external stimuli."

Tiffany: (giggling) "Sooo… what are you reading?"

You (Sheldon): (reluctantly) "A journal on quantum mechanics and string theory."

Tiffany: (nodding) "Ooooh, I love music!