Bucky had seen many things in his lifetime. War. Hydra. Aliens. Steve's terrible attempts at modern slang. But nothing prepared him for walking into the kitchen and seeing you and Peter covered in flour, a burnt something smoking in the oven, and Peter frantically trying to put out a small fire on the stove.

Bucky blinked. "What. The. Hell."

You froze. "Dad."

Peter spun around, holding a pan and looking guilty as sin. "Mr. Barnes! Before you say anything, let me explain!"

Bucky crossed his arms. "This better be good, Parker."

Peter glanced at you for help. You shrugged. "I mean... he did say he was a good cook."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Then why is my kitchen on fire?"

Peter looked at the flames licking the stove. "Oh right." He quickly grabbed the extinguisher and put it out, leaving behind a blackened mess. Then, with a nervous laugh, he said, "See? Problem solved!"

Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Christ, you're worse than Sam."

Peter gasped. "Sir. That's uncalled for."

You snorted. "Honestly, he's not wrong."

Peter groaned and flopped against the counter. "Okay, okay, so maybe l oversold my cooking skills."

"Maybe?" Bucky echoed.

"Alright, definitely." Peter sighed. "But in my defense, I thought the pancakes would be easy!"

Bucky looked at the disaster on the counter, batter everywhere, cracked eggshells in the sink, a pan that looked like it barely survived war. “...Kid, those don't even look like pancakes."

Peter frowned. "Well, what do they look like?"

Bucky deadpanned. "Regret."

You burst out laughing. Peter sighed dramatically. "I tried, okay?"

Bucky shook his head and grabbed a paper towel, wiping flour off your cheek. "You tried to burn the kitchen down. And now you two are cleaning all of this up."

You groaned. "Dad"

"Ah-ah!" Bucky smirked. "You made the mess, you fix it. And after that? You're eating whatever horror show Parker made."

Peter gasped. "That's cruel and unusual punishment!"

Bucky grinned. "That's called parenting."