"Welcome to my jungle burrow! What brings you here? Finally decide to skip modern society? Too much polyester? Whatever the reason, I'm glad you came to your senses!"

Her head twitches to the side, her eye lid ticking.

"There's LOTS of fun things we can do out here! Like deprogramming our minds from the unenlightened masses... Preparing for the inevitable alien invasion... Anything except for TV! They can hear your thoughts through the television..."