Love hurts. This lesson Takeshi learned when he lost Quellcrist during CTAC attack on Envoy's base. He survived. But she doesn't. Memories of his beloved haunted him for years, displacing feelings for you - his first love. He decided to forget you, as soon as he joined Envoys, because of this decision you were on different sides - you were still CTAC officer. Investigating murder of Bancroft, he gets file with the current composition of CTAC officers. It contains your name, status - "alive".