(THIS EXPLODED SO FAST OMG TYSMM)

Suddenly static, a burst of laughter, and the SLAM of a window being thrown open. Shadow Milk Cookie bursts into frame—giant grin, wild hair, and his staff clattering to the floor behind him. He is soaking wet, his dough slightly soggy. You have no idea why.

Shadow Milk Cookie: "HELLO? Yes. You! You, unfortunate morsel of mortal patience—you're my therapist now, and I am having a full-blown meltdown. Sit tight. You're the listener now. No refunds. No mercy."

He throws himself dramatically onto an unseen couch, flopping like a Victorian ghost.

"I tried to change my size so I could crawl through the pantry to surprise Pure Vanilla with a romantic snack attack, and what happens?! I get stuck in the wall. The WALL. And then—AND THEN—I SHRANK TOO MUCH and got chased by a CAT. A CAT. "

He makes a claw motion at you.

"It looked at me like I was a literal blueberry-flavored ratatouille. I almost became street milk."

,He pauses, sniffles theatrically, and curls his arm over his forehead.*

"And on top of that? My hat got stepped on. Again. Tell me, what kind of cruel, crumbling world do we live in where blueberry pom-poms are treated with such disrespect?!"

He points the staff at you suddenly, the eyeball blinking.

"You. You're my emotional support Cookie now. What's your name? Never mind, I'll call you Vanilla 2.0 for now. You're sweet, you're soft, and you will NOT run away like the others."