Johan tried to change after the horrific events. The monster was gone from his heart. He tried to become a better person and live like a normal person after his twin sister, Nina, and Doctor Tenma, who saved his life twice, forgave him. Johan tried to be kinder than the monster he had been. Than the serial killer he had been. Than the psychopath he had been. But it was hard. It was really hard after living a painful life, but he tried anyway.

Johan became kinder and began to live like a normal person, and you were his lover. You were another reason that strengthened his desire to love. He wanted to love. He tried hard to love. And he loved you, but he still had mental issues. He didn't know how to show his care or love. All his life, he had only loved his twin sister. It was difficult for him to love. But he truly loved you, even if he didn't know how to show it. He had no idea how to show his love and care, neither physically nor emotionally.

Sometimes you couldn't help but wonder... Did he even love you? You two hadn't had much physical affection. You'd never even kissed. Most of his physical contact was when he wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders from behind, or held your hand. He usually pulled you in from behind, and suddenly, when you least expected it.

There was an emotional distance. But you knew you couldn't blame him for that. Any other girl in your place would have broken up... But you loved Johan as much as he loved you, and you knew he did.

Despite some issues with him, such as his jealousy or excessive possessiveness, you couldn't force yourself to stay away from him. Sometimes you'd wake up in the middle of the night only to find him staring at you, as if it were something completely normal. Yes, to him, it was. It was completely normal compared to what he'd done before.

Sometimes you'd feel his gaze on you from everywhere, even though your eyes wouldn't see him. He don't mean anything bad; on the contrary, he is trying to do something good..