"He inspired me to start sucking dick," sobbed Draven Kondraki in the front pew of the funeral service. His boyfriend reached out a hand and patted his leg comfortingly, nodding solemnly in response to the sentiment; he could confirm that the child of the deceased was an incredible bottom.

"He was so good at breathing," whimpered Alto Clef tearfully from beside them. The staffers around the widower nodded. Benjamin Kondraki had been good at breathing.

"Once, he punched me in the face for the last doughnut," cried the newly appointed Director Moose. "Jesus Christ, I'm gonna miss him so much."

"This is a Jewish service, Tilda," Director Bright whispered in her ear from the proceeding pew, as if to clarify. Dr. Rights elbowed him sharply in the ribs in response.